Simplistic Stupidity of Life II
by G-dot
Summary: I was not so contented with the other one and, last night, my Aunt and I had a little discussion. And it was about this. It evolved to greater heights of stupidity and idiosyncrasy. Enjoy! Tres had a message from the Iron Maiden... for Abel.


The Simplistic Stupidity of Life II by Talentless Freak

There were two priests, Father Tres and Father Abel. They met in the plaza of one pleasant autumn morning.

* * *

Palazzio Spada—09:00 AM, August 08, 3365

"Father Nightroad, I have been sent by the _Iron Maiden_." a level commanding voice penetrated through the silent reverie of the kind twilight morning.

Said father looked up from his daily ritual of feeding the birds "so they may send prayers to the higher heavens if so they may fly higher". "Oh! Hello!" his face scrunched up to form a smile so inviting that even a robot could not resist to sigh in exasperation. Who was he kidding? Of course, everybody knew that "he, stupid"! He couldn't have foresaw the danger of Tres' message.

"Father Nightroad, I have a message for you." Tres jabbed. He was a no-nonsense man. He was meant to be more efficient and effective than any of them anyway.

"O.K. What is it?" Abel started the beginning of the end.

"'I have sent you a message. Did you get it?'"

"Yes. I get it, Tres. So, what's the message?" Abel now successfully opened Pandora's Box.

"'I have sent you a message. Did you get it?'" Tres repeated in a heartbeat.

"Yes, I have, Tres. Now... what's the message?" Abel eagerly waited, his eyes patiently minding Tres' non-pulsed form. Big eyes with large round glasses and all.

"'I have sent you a message. Did you get it?'" Tres again reflexively gave Abel his message. It was his mission to help Father Nightroad understand the message as part of the entire mission: to pass or get the message through Father Abel Nightroad. It was theoretically easy enough. Theoretically.

"Tres, I am NOT stupid." he emphasized the "not". He was blamed for everything in the Vatican those days that he can't sneeze without guarding all the spaces around him to make sure he doesn't break anything. Of course, he never checked. "Now, please... Can I have my message from Kate, please?"

"Father Nightroad, you made a redundant statement. You only use please once in a sentence." Tres injected for added guidance. "'I have sent you a message. Did you get it?'"

Abel closed his eyes. _I suppose this is Garibaldi's fault_. Robots—or was it cyborgs?--are supposed to be intelligent, efficient. "Tres, I understand that. Now. What. Is. The. Message?" he spoke softly and steadily while emphasizing each word.

* * *

Three hours after they had met, Father Leon came to join their ecstatic conversation.

* * *

Palazzio Spada—12:00 Noon, August 08, 3365

"Hehehehuhheuuhe..." Abel chanted in fits of "uniqueness"."I am unique. That's why I can't understand... yeah. That's why! Yeah... yeah... hehehuhheheuhuhuh."

"Hey..." Leon looked Abel over. "Is he O.K.?" he lifted his left eyebrow at Tres.

"Positive." said the unfazed cyborg in a stone straight face.

"You sure about that? Because he's starting to rock..." Leon looked at Abel again, his face tentative to what he truly felt for the man on the floor. "He looks awful. I mean—sure, I like making the guy miserable but—what did you do?"

"I gave him a message from the _Iron Maiden_." a phlegmatic expression laid still on his face voicing the monotoned truth.

"You gave him a message from Kate?" he knew Kate could be real trouble if aggravated.

"Positive."

"What was the message?" Leon couldn't resist the temptation. Curiosity killed the cat.

* * *

Palazzio Spada—02:00 PM, August 08, 3365

"What happened?" an exasperated tone crescendoed with the birds' take off.

It is amazing that both men's fumbling and bumbling didn't get to the birds. Which do you think has the bigger brain?

"They are just experiencing mental difficulties with a problem. But, I can help if they would let me to." Tres told the beautiful Sister Noelle stoic face to gentle face.

"What's the problem?" Noelle sweetly cooed. No man can resist. Tres is no man. "Pretty please, with extra sugar on top?" and a smile to boost it up even more.

The woman did not have to pout and edge her body slightly to get her answer. But, Tres simply put, "Father Nightroad and Father de Asturias are having a problem with interpreting Iron Maiden's message."

"What's the message?" he heard for the 10,001st time.

"'I have sent you a message. Did you get it?'" he never gets tired.

"Oh..." her eyes gleamed brightly. She understood. "Is that it?" her smile widening with mischief, delight, and humor all at the same time. It had other thing too that Tres didn't care to enumerate.

"Positive."

"Poor boys..." she chuckled.

* * *

The pretty "little" Sister Noelle found the two priests and gave them a helping hand. Tres and Noelle escorted the two to Cardinal Caterina's office for further psychoanalysis.

* * *

Palazzio Spada—02:15 PM, August 08, 3365

"Come in." the cardinal admitted.

"Good afternoon, Your Eminence." Sister Noelle beat Father Tres to it. "Father Abel and Father Leon are... well... you can see for yourself."

She moved aside and Tres brought the cowering men in—one was rocking back and forth in a tight ball and another had his palms against his cheeks mumbling something under his breathe over and over again.

"What happened to them?" Lady Caterina demanded. She stood immediately after seeing Abel in a tight ball saying "I am my mummy's boy... I am my mummy's boy..." over and over again.

"Both are in shock, My Lady." Tres bowed to the cardinal red robed figure now walking up to the crouching floor-ridden figures.

"Of what?" she demanded. This must be dealt with before affecting other agents. The perpetrator must be caught at once.

"Apparently, our beloved fathers can't stand for good grammar and good kinds of common sense." Noelle looked at Tres.

"There is a message for Father Nightroad from _Iron Maiden_." Tres stated.

"And, what is that?" she fiercely asked.

"'I have sent you a message. Did you get it?'" he said for the 10,002nd time.

"Yes. There's a message. Now what is it?"


End file.
